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다음 날, 달래는 김통정이 갇힌 감옥 주변을 살필 겸 가구경행街衢經行에 나섰다. 오랜만 이었다. 동자승 시절에 개경거리를 스승을 따라 목탁을 두드리며 백성의 발복을 빌고 다닌 적이 었었다.
그 당시 개경 사람들은 어린애가 불경을 어쩌면 저렇게 잘 외느냐며 무척이나 좋아했다.
“나무아미타불, 관세음보살….”
그깨나 지금이나 여전히 달래의 독경은 유려하고도 낭랑했다.
개경 거리에 오랜 전란의 여파가 곳곳에 그대로 남아 있었지만 좌판을 깔고 장사하는 사람들과 행인들이 많았다.
물론 그들의 행색이 하나같이 초라했으며 젊은 비구니가 불경을 외며 걸어 가자 모여들었다. 불경 소리에 고달픈 설움을 달래느라 울며 향을 피우는 사람까지 있었다.
달래가 그렇게 광화문 밖과 십자가 일대를 돌며 감옥 근처까지 다가갔다. 감옥을 지키던 금군들도 독경하는 달래를 보고 합장했다. 그들의 얼굴을 달래가 익혀두었다.
그날 밤이었다. 달래 혼자 흥국사 객실에서 깊은 좌선坐禪에 들었다.
“방하착放下着. 다 내려놓으라. 다 내려놓으라….”
청룡사의 왕실 출신 비구니들이 화두로 삼던 방하착, 그 방하착을 달래가 그 밤에 또 화두로 삼았다.
다섯 살 때 출가해 멋모르고 방하착을 따라 하다가 열 살 무렵부터 어머니와 아버지가 누군지 궁금했다. 주승에게 물어보았다가 죽비로 된통 엊어 맞기만 했다.
“야, 이년아, 공부를 덜 했구나. 세속의 인연에 연연하면 중 자격이 없느니라. 지금부터 방하착을 외우며 백팔배를 하거라.”
아무리 세속의 인연을 끊어야 해탈의 길로 간다고 하지만, 그래도 세상에 나를 있게 해준 그분들이 궁금했다. 그분들도 오죽하면 어린 딸을 출가시켰을까?
바람결에 들었던 소문이 어머니가 궁녀이고 아버지가 귀족이라거나, 아버지가 왕족이고 어머니가 귀족 부인이라는 등이었다. 그런 소문을 접할 때마다 그분들 또한 많이 힘들었겠다는 생각에 가슴이 저며왔다. 그런 번민으로 달래는 누구보다 조숙해 있었으며 그 무렵 김통정을 처음 만났던 것이다.
거기까지 생각이 미친 달래의 입가에 미소가 번졌다.
‘그래 통정아 널 처음 만날 때 부터 그냥 네가 좋았어. 너랑 함께 있고 싶었어. 한평생 같이 보내고도 싶었지. 그런데 세상이 용납을 안 하더구나. 우리 잘못도 아닌 데. 통정아, 이 무슨 인연의 장난이란 말이냐. 우리 만난 지도 벌써 50년이 훌쩍 넘었구나.’
달래가 방하착하려다가 되려 지나간 상념에 잠겨 있는 그때였다. 누군가 방문을 확 열었다. 달래가 화들짝 놀래서 뒤돌아 보니 김통정이었다.
“어머, 통정이 네가 어떻게….”
“내가 누구니? 그깟 감옥이 어떻게 나를 가둬.”
“그래, 누구도 널 가두지 못하지. 이제 내 곁을 떠나지 마. 어머니는 어떻게 되셨어?”
“어머니는 미리 가셨어.”
“어디로?”
“나를 따라와 보면 알아.”
김통정이 그러더니 휙 돌아서서 황룡이 되는 게 아닌가.
“뭐야…? 네가 어떻게 황룡이 되니?”
달래가 놀라 눈을 떠 보니 꿈이었다. 좌선하다가 그대로 잠이들었던 것이다. 꿈이 얼마나 생생한지 마치 김통정이 옆에 있는 것 같았다. dyl1010@hanmail.net
*아래는 위 기사를 '구글 번역'으로 번역한 영문 기사의 [전문]입니다. '구글번역'은 이해도 높이기를 위해 노력하고 있습니다. 영문 번역에 오류가 있을 수 있음을 전제로 합니다.<*The following is [the full text] of the English article translated by 'Google Translate'. 'Google Translate' is working hard to improve understanding. It is assumed that there may be errors in the English translation.>
[Novel Sambyeolcho-81] The sound of Dallae chanting echoes throughout downtown Gaegyeong
-Writer Lee Dong-yeon
The next day, Dal-rae went on a road trip to inspect the surroundings of the prison where Kim Tong-jeong was imprisoned. It's been a while. During his days as a monk, he followed his teacher through the streets of Gaegyeong, banging on wooden tables and praying for the blessings of the people.
At that time, the people of Gaegyeong were very excited, wondering if a child could memorize Buddhist scriptures so well.
“Wooden Amitabha Buddha, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva… .”
Then and now, Dal-lae’s sutra chanting was elegant and sonorous.
Although the aftermath of the long war still remained everywhere on the streets of Gaegyeong, there were many people and passersby doing business at stalls.
Of course, they all looked shabby, and as the young nun walked away chanting Buddhist sutras, they gathered around. There were even people who cried and burned incense to soothe their sorrow to the sound of Buddhist scriptures.
So Dal-rae walked around the outside of Gwanghwamun and around the cross area and approached the prison. The soldiers guarding the prison also put their hands together when they saw Dallae chanting the sutra. I learned to appease their faces.
It was that night. Dallae went into deep Zen meditation alone in the guest room of Heungguksa Temple.
“Let’s get off the ground.” Put it all down. Put it all down… .”
Banghachak, which was a topic of discussion among the nuns from the royal family of Cheongnyongsa Temple, was made a topic of conversation again that night by Dallae.
He became a monk at the age of five and imitated Bang Ha-chak without knowing anything, but from about the age of ten, he became curious about who his mother and father were. He tried to ask the chief monk, but ended up being beaten with a bamboo toy.
“Hey, bitch, you didn’t study enough. If you are attached to worldly relationships, you have no qualifications. From now on, recite Banghachak and bow 108 times.”
Although they say that one must cut off worldly ties to achieve liberation, I was still curious about the people who helped me exist in this world. Could it be that they also sent their young daughter into a monastic life?
The rumor I heard on the wind was that my mother was a court lady and my father was a noble, or that my father was a royal and my mother was a noble wife. Every time I hear such rumors, my heart aches at the thought that they must have had a hard time, too. Due to such anguish, Dal-lae was more mature than anyone else, and it was around that time that she met Kim Tong-jeong for the first time.
A smile spread across Dal-rae's lips as she thought about it that far.
‘Yes, Tongjeong, I just liked you from the first time I met you. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life together. But the world doesn't accept it. It's not even our fault. Tongjeong, what kind of joke is this? ‘It’s already been over 50 years since we met.’
It was a time when Dal-lae was about to leave and was lost in thoughts of the past. Someone opened the door. Dal-rae was so startled that she turned around and saw that it was Kim Tong-jeong.
“Oh my, Tongjeong, how could you…?” .”
“Who am I? “How can that prison imprison me?”
“Yes, no one can imprison you. Don't leave my side now. “What happened to your mother?”
“She’s gone before her mother.”
"Where?"
“You’ll find out if you follow me.”
Didn’t Kim Tong-jeong then turn around and become a yellow dragon?
"what… ? How do you become a yellow dragon?”
Dal-rae was surprised when she opened her eyes and saw that it was a dream. I fell asleep while sitting in meditation. The dream was so vivid that it felt as if Kim Tong-jeong was next to me. dyl1010@hanmail.net
